LoginSHOPshop

Lost and Found

I don’t know if it’s the start of a new school year or just more of the growth and healing […]
By
Wendy Jones
September 8, 2019

I don’t know if it’s the start of a new school year or just more of the growth and healing process taking place but the concept of lost and found runs heavy through my storyline these days. There is a line in one of my favorite new country songs by Tyler Rich, Leave Her Wild, 

“…she ain’t all found, but she ain’t all that lost.” 

Speaking to me loud and clear…I have a mild obsession with songwriters because the truth in their lyrics makes my life make sense. Music is a constant in every day and has been since I had my first clock radio in 4th grade that did it’s job helping me fall asleep at night. Zac Brown blaring in my kitchen on many occasions has been my assurance that life is going to be ok if I just kept working to uncover the layers and music plays a significant role in the book I’m working on connecting life stories and what is found on the journey when we feel lost.

The reality about writing and healing is that it brings up memories that I probably would never have thought of again if I wasn’t combing my brain for signs and patterns of how I arrived in the present, how I can design my best life from here, and how I can teach the next generation to embrace self reflection to help heal generational pain.  

I texted my mom from a workshop I was attending in Nashville last week, 

“I can’t imagine why you would remember this, but do you remember me having a Strawberry Shortcake lunchbox?” 

I remember it, it was the first one that wasn’t one of those tin ones that made all that terrible noise in the lunch room.  I was in second grade and my sister had one too. Well, mine disappeared, and to my recollection it was taken from me by a redheaded girl that I didn’t know how to stand up to.  Even though I towered over everyone, I was young for my class and so shy that this girl had had my number since first grade. My mom remembered the lunchbox, but didn’t remember anything happening to it. Lord knows I didn’t tell her my story about where it went. She did remember me losing lots of things at school and always encouraged me to “check lost and found” which made perfect sense, but I didn’t do it. I remember giving the long line of sweatshirts and lunchboxes a sideways glance as my class would file into the cafeteria everyday, but I never would have stepped out of line to claim something, or worse go back there on my own later to claim a lost item. When I look back on it, I remember feeling that if I found what I was looking for, it felt like I did something wrong by losing it in the first place, so rather than risk admitting that, I ignored, instead of solved my problem, compensated, and went on. Life made me so nervous, so it was easy to lose track of things.  It’s strange how far back we can trace our tendencies if we think about it.  

I have been ignoring my perfectionist ways for years, letting them bubble under the surface, hiding them under a facade of calm, and stirring the pot of unworthiness that boils away the energy to accomplish what I want to do in life.  

I always felt safer hedging my bets on someone else, pushing them forward, and helping them quietly from behind the scenes accomplish their goals.  Blending in is safe, and no matter how strong the feeling was inside me that I should step out, I never found the courage to find that place until my world looked like something I didn’t want my kids to have to experience. Without a lot of honesty, patterns have a way of repeating themselves generation after generation, and at that point I knew it was on me to travel the road from lost to found and The Optimists Journal is my place to chronicle that journey. 

Lost holds on to insecurities, fears, a false sense of control, perfection, expectation, and my own ego. I know what I feel like in my body when I enter a room and I am working from this place. Lost looks for results, validation, and for someone else to give me the blessing to move forward with my plan or tell me I’m right. Found moves freely in the world and the inevitable judgment from others doesn’t fall heavy on my shoulders. I don’t always know what to do in every situation, but when I don’t, I know how to breathe and stay present until I figure it out. Gone is the worry that has been just under the surface my entire life. I see the confidence that I have trained into my grown and almost grown children and know that so much of that is coming from my own vulnerability and ability to turn lost into found. Through my process, I have learned, and grown and turned myself into a writer, speaker, and coach…things I had been doing for years without stepping into the light.  Found is loving myself for who I am today, confident in my choices, authentic in my words, and autonomous in my decisions, and all of this adds up to a whole lot of calm…and that is a feeling I have been searching for my entire life.  

1 2 3 19
hello world!
About the author:
Wendy Jones is a mother of four, lifelong athlete, writer, and optimism & resilience coach and speaker. Through 20 years of parenting and relationship struggles, she believes that vulnerability and our willingness to share our stories is a way to heal ourselves

Related Posts:

Your Path to High Performance

What I enjoy so much about this new ‘What I Meant to Say’ podcast journey is the wisdom that flows […]
Read More

One Generation Away

“Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction.” - Ronald Reagan As a kid, 4th of July was […]
Read More

The Real Sisterhood

"What if the world was already good? What if what you seek, you find? What if everything wasn’t an emergency? […]
Read More

How To Inspire BETTER

I saw Top Gun this week. It’s so weird to see the actors of my youth get older. Like so […]
Read More

The Top 10 Things I Want my 17 Year old to Know.

Kate turned 17 on Thursday. For anyone who hasn't followed her story, she's the one who stopped playing volleyball to […]
Read More

Is Competing Actually Keeping You from Success?

As a writer, I am thankful that I have a good memory of my early life.  So many of my […]
Read More

My America

Our country is hurting. As much as I am an optimist who looks for the good and the growth in […]
Read More

Alchemy Over Strategy

I usually don’t have the title of  a blog when I sit down to write, generally speaking it comes last.  […]
Read More

Everyone Needs a Song

Hi.  I’m Wendy.  Even though I’ve written over 200 blogs, you don’t really know me.  I show you glimpses of […]
Read More

Circa 1994

I had the chance to revisit my 19 year old mind this week with a reconnection that happened because of […]
Read More

What Makes A Great Athlete?

Every athlete I know, including myself, has always wanted to BE BETTER.  My mission and this concept can sound a […]
Read More

New Beginnings

People care, or they are curious, or both:) When people ask me what happened to my ankle, I tell them […]
Read More
1 2 3 18
crossmenu linkedin facebook pinterest youtube rss twitter instagram facebook-blank rss-blank linkedin-blank pinterest youtube twitter instagram