It’s hard to believe I’m done filling out permission slips for you. When I stare down the fact that we are leaving Tuesday…two tickets out, one ticket home, I can’t get rid of my chills. I’ve been so excited for you, I still am…you are about to experience one of the greatest privileges on this earth, a college education backed up by parents who love and have the ability to support you through it. It’s a gift, a protected world with the freedoms of adulthood but with a protected and safe place to land. It’s still one of the things I am most grateful to have had in my own life. Although you are about to be out on your own, making your way, I thought I would write you one more permission slip to take with you on this journey.
Date: 8/19 - 6/23
I give permission for Lauren Turner to have the time of her life
on (date) 8/19 to 6/23.
Wendy Jones (Mom)
Comments & Notes
Give it time. It may not feel like this new environment fits like a glove right away. It may be uncomfortable, you will get homesick for your bed, home cooked meals, easier ways to do laundry, your siblings and your parents, and the routine that you have done such a beautiful job building. Give this new routine a chance, when we learn to sink into the uncomfortable, we grow, learn, and develop a broad perspective. There are so many ways to make life beautiful, give yourself time to find it there.
Make friends with people with different points of view than your own. This world is begging for tolerance and understanding. We all come from different upbringings and traditions of thought. Learn to share yours humbly and more importantly sit back and listen to what other people have experienced. Give them a space to speak their mind, you never know what you will learn that will add to your own experience and perspective.
Seek solitude and breathe. Find an empty church, a yoga class, or somewhere out in nature to be by yourself with your own thoughts. Dorm life, team life, full classes, and busy schedules are the bulk of your routine, but the younger you master the art of quieting your mind, the sooner you will realize that you are in charge of your own destiny. Solitude connects us to the present moment, settles anxiety, and reconnects us to our mind, body, and spirit. Then we learn to bring that peace into the busyness of our life.
Change your mind. You can be good at a thousand different things. You are young and the farthest thing from locked into a path. You don’t have to define that path today, just pay attention to what you attract. To quote my beautiful little card from yoga this morning, “Life doesn’t happen to you, it’s happens for you.” You have the skills to figure out where you want to go, whatever you treat with consistency and commitment will become your life, so take the time to choose that path and let it wander to match your heart and mind.
Help yourself first. There will be many requests, from friends, roommates & people along the way, but we are more useful to others when we have learned to take care of ourselves first. It’s not selfish. It allows us to give from a place of abundance and shows us the balance of what we truly have to give without burning out.
Define who you are away from your family. Have those conversations that go way into the night with roommates and friends that become your second family. Be vulnerable, share what you think about the world and life, and you will form bonds that you will have for the rest of your days. The friends I made in these times of my life I can call anytime, ask them anything, and they have my back. The power of those friendships is possibly greater than even the degree I received.
Work through fear, shame, and doubt. I wish I had known earlier in life that these are normal feelings for every human being. There isn’t a perfect one among us, we all make mistakes, we all have things we wish we would have done differently or better. So fear, shame, and doubt are not things that are meant to hold us back and make our lives small. They are merely things that connect us as human beings. Although these emotions are always present in our lives, when we learn to wrestle with them, we break through, assign them their proper place in our mind and heart and, only then, are we able to use our intuition and see life through the lens of love, truth, and connection. This is the kind of maturity that will make your life joyously full.
Take care of your body. You are young and your body will forgive you, but the habits you create now will lead you forward. You already know the power of endorphins, but sleep, what you eat and drink, and how you treat your body on a daily basis is important in the years to come. It’s so much easier later if you get a jump on it now.
Don’t be afraid of attention, you are so worthy of it. You are amazing, and you will attract attention because of the joy and kindness you express when you are going after life. Be confident, don’t shy away from it. Keep being you and be comfortable with the attention that you draw from that. Surround yourself with people who want to see you shine, and your light will burn brighter and brighter and light your path forward.
Master the disappearing act. People will want you to stay, but only you know when it’s time to go home. Establish a buddy system, share your Uber log in with a trusted friend and get home safely. But when it’s time to go, don’t be afraid to pull the ripcord. You’ll thank yourself for it in the morning.
Use your jiujitsu if you must, you learned it for a reason. You are the strongest girl I know, mentally and physically, and you are your own first line of defense. God willing, you will never have to use these skills, but, in the event that you do, don’t be afraid to fight back the way that you were taught. You are a precious commodity that deserves every protection, starting with the knowledge and physical skill you earned yourself. You are my 2.0 in toughness for sure.
You no longer need permission, the greatest responsibility of your life is to know yourself so well that you can understand the choices to make to optimize this beautiful thing we call a lifetime. Autonomy comes with responsibility and you are ready. It’s been my greatest joy to get you to this moment, so, while you no longer need my permission slip, you will always have my heart, no matter where your path may take you. Now, go have the time of your life.